Existences (2001-2010)

I wrote this in October of 2001 as a poem of sorts, but then I started making some music right after I wrote it, and they kind of managed to blend together well. The world had started its real chaos at 9/11, and it seems to be even more in chaos now, so it seemed fitting for me to finally try and bring this to fruition.

The song lyrics have been re-written and written back, edited and then re-edited, rearranged...then rearranged some more. I even posted it on Facebook as a poem back in '09 at some point. I eventually found the original song (minus 3 important samples)...beefed up some of the samples and added to it while still paying homage to my earlier days of music; since the original music was made in 2001, I used a lot of my older samples which featured in my tracks from that time period.

The voice processor I borrowed for a bit helped for me to finally put an aural sense of how I was feeling into my voice. Thank you, Steve. :)

Listening to it now, I can't believe these words and this music came out of me. It's eerie as to how much it speaks. One particular verse...the first one I wrote...seems strangely apt at this point in our Saskatchewan season. And this is now a clear reflection of how my feelings about this world and its people have culminated inside of me:




When I open my eyes I can't help but see
the grey clouds scattered over the crowds,
covering their minds,
leaving them blind
to the colors that should flutter right through their eyes, I find
that the hardest part about watching it all is standing back and waiting for everything to fall

The city's quiet and the breathing within
creates a solitary comfort that crawls beneath my skin
Well I know it's been painfully slow,
but we're ready to get up and find that faint glimmer of hope
It'll be quite a journey...

And if it weren't for the time it takes
to get it all in one place,
We would've done the same thing a long time ago
but you know,
some things can wait and now it's getting pretty late anyway I'm sorry I gotta go
And I was having so much fun here...

Well you know I try to keep it alive,
but sometimes I can't take anymore; I gotta get up and fight
But this time I've a right to survive,
please bring in all the colors
and place them right in front of my eyes,
let em float in my head awhile

This is so surreal,
'Cause it's kinda hard to pinpoint
exactly how I feel, oh well
I wanna lay down and bask in some
everlasting sunshine...

When I close my eyes I can't help but see
what may come of all the rain that has
washed away the sunshine,
leaving blue puddles
and a splash of yellow to mark the time, I find
that the hardest part about being alive is standing underneath the clouds just waiting for the end of time

My head hurts and it's hard to see
but I've a mind to unwind with humility, just
step into the sunshine...
Step into the sunshine,
and into reality

And if it weren't for the horrible ways
we live day to day
We've would've won this game a long time ago
but you know
what else can we say? Our words are getting in the way, good day I'm sorry we gotta go
Really wish we could've stayed...

This is so surreal,
'Cause it's kinda hard to pinpoint
exactly what is real, oh well
Let's just lay down and bask in this
little bit of sunshine...