This illustrates the see-saw way I was feeling when I started dating somebody for the first time after a rather tumultuous long-term relationship. I really liked this guy. I mean, really, REALLY liked him. And like most people after a long-term relationship, I was afraid to completely let go in case I got hurt again, or ended up hurting someone else. But it's safe to say now that I finally allowed myself to completely fall head over heels for him. We would spend hours late at night, just talking and laughing non-stop over stupid things...when we were together we were like fire, just feeding off each other in sheer fun and craziness.
I wrote this about 2 months after we started dating. A month later, he told me that he had applied for a job in a different province, went for the interview, got it, and was moving away in a few weeks. All very suddenly...I had no idea he was even looking for another job. Then he left without really saying goodbye (just a quick text), and that really threw me off. I was thrown off for a couple months, in fact.
Listening to the words now, they take on a different meaning for me then they did when I wrote it...but perhaps it was the meaning they always had (or...maybe I just conjured it up by writing those words). Now it sounds to me that I wanted to make sure that I was ready for something like that again, but not really wanting to get too deep into it. Well, I definitely know now that I am ready, so that's the positive that came out of it. I guess the only negative part is what really sucks: I still kinda miss him and what we had. Hopefully I will find it again.
Well, this be it:
I wasn't asking for much
I only wanted to believe that there was something more
I thought I didn't know much,
Was kinda hard to see past the shadows of my life before
And then the answer came and like the perfect sunrise,
Shone it's light upon my sleeping soul
But still my questions remain and like a violent earthquake,
They shake me to my very core
I wasn't asking for much
I only wanted to believe that I was something more
I thought I didn't know much
It's kinda hard to believe in something that hurt so much before
But then I spotted you and like a fool, I wished for something
Well beyond my grasp
And then you smiled at me and all the waves came crashing down
They carried me to you, far away from the past
I'm not asking for much
I only wanna believe that this is something that could be more
Because I still don't know enough
And it's kinda hard for me to think that
Things won't turn out like they did before
But then you speak your mind and I feel your words wrap around me,
Lighting up all my hidden desires
It makes it easy to find the feelings I thought had left me
Now I know I can only go higher
No, I'm not asking for much
But you're helping me believe in something so much more
And I still don't know much
But now I'm looking ahead at something that I've never had before...