I believe I wrote this in May or June, but didn't think to listen to it very often until lately. Although it is directly about somebody in my life at the time, changing things didn't bring about what I had wanted or thought could happen. In fact, things went the exact opposite way. At that time, I was upset that it didn't happen but to look back on it now, I'm so glad that it didn't. Making the 'difference' did bring about change, but in a definitely more positive way. I'm in a good spot right now, and happy to be here. :)
As for the track itself...I didn't want to post this back then because I had changed a couple of the lyrics. However, the vocals in it are the original ones I recorded to make this song. I tried re-recording them a few times but never could quite get the softness and breathiness of the original vocals. So rather than doing what I usually do - record over and over until I get it 'right'-sounding, and basically just wreck the entire feeling of the song for me - I left them in as is.
Lyrics:
Wishing things were back to exactly where they used to be
Covered up my heart and tried to cling to something that I couldn't see
Maybe if I wished a little harder, it'll bring about you and me
But does it make a difference now?
Climbing up ever higher out of this sea of doubt
Opened up my heart and tried to show you exactly what it's all about
Maybe if I try a little harder I won't be left feeling without
But does it make a difference now?
It doesn't make a difference now...
Thinking about the future, and I know I'll be just fine
I didn't have the heart to tell myself that it's all just a matter of time
All I really know is deep inside, I kinda wish that you were mine
So I'll make a difference now...
And hope that you can see it now
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